Cold cold weather

Yesterday morning I saw the lowest temperature I can remember since I was a little little child. 1.9 degrees F. Man that's cold. This morning I woke up to no fire, no water, and another below 10 degree temperature. I'm no fan of hot weather, but it would be nice to have a little right now.

I can tell the riding inside all the time is effecting my motivation to ride. A few months ago I was all ready to go. With racing cross at the least every other weekend, I was getting enough "outside time" to suffer through the training. Now I've got to wait until Feb 14 for my first road race to get back outside. It seems like forever. Every ride I get to do outside is like a little high for my motivation, and the longer I ride inside the more withdraw I go through. Just a few weeks and I'll be back to riding outside. I can't wait!!!

Too, I've been thinking too much about upgrading to Cat3. I feel like my legs are plenty good enough, but I'm afraid of it not happening. Or at least not fast enough. Here's the root of my fear....

I turned Cat4 in 2006, actually the last part of 2005 but didn't race cat 4 till 2006. After a non-successful collegiate season, I hit the Cat4 season probably the strongest I ever was till now. I finished in at 6th in Jeff Cup, out of over 100, and was feeling strong. This is were my head hurt me the most. Rather than set in and wait for a sprint, or attack not far from the finish, I would burn myself out on the front pulling people back and giving everyone else a break. I think had I raced with half a brain I could've upgraded.

Fast forward to June of '06. I just graduated college and entered the work force, better known as the real world. My fitness was alright for the rest of '06, but started going down.

2007 saw almost no racing. I mean 6 races maybe. No training, no racing, and that pretty much ruined the year. That was until I met Ashley.

2008 saw me training more than '07, but I wasn't serious. I was so down about '07 that I couldn't get motivated. By June though, more specifically Tomato Head Omnium, I decided it was time to get back to racing. No matter what. So after talking to MattP, who has now made a mad dash to Cat2, we discussed a training plan that would help us working guys get into shape.

So there I was 207lbs, had given up cycling for weight lifting, and hated that I had let myself get this way. So I started training. Pain is the best way I can describe this part of my cycling career. The road season was almost over by the time I saw any fitness, so cross was all I had. I trained like mad until then, and the cross season saw me consistently finishing top 10 through the whole MSG series. An upgrade to CX3 at the start of this season saw me finish 4th in my first CX3 race. Its been an awesome winter as far as racing.

So now here I set in 2009 thinking about what I want to accomplish this year. Cat 3 is an obvious one, I hope to get a promotion at work(should get this one in the next month), get married to the perfect woman(this summer, and can't wait), and be happier in general.

So here I am, 23lbs lighter at 184lbs, a FTP of 340watts, and wanting to race more than ever. So what's the problem? Afraid of failure. I've been a Cat4 for almost 3 years now, sure in total I've only raced about 1 year, but I'm scared of being stuck. The powertap has helped me more with this than anything, cause it doesn't lie. If I'm fast it tells me, and if I'm slow it tells me.

This season will be the one of truth for me. I plan to do a full season of road racing, with a little bit of mountain thrown in. I suspect I'll be nervous the first few races, but I'll come around after the first few. It should be a good season.

Thanks to everyone for reading. Time to hit the trainer....